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Melissa
Melissa20162017
Full name
  • Melissa Chartres
Primary Employment
  • Real Estate Agent (formerly)
Relatives
  • Todd (husband)
  • Greg (deceased ex-husband)
Played by
Episodes

Melissa Chartres-Rodriguez is a main character on the show and is a former real estate agent from Akron, Ohio and graduated from the University of Nevada, Las Vegas. She was married to a person named Greg, who had cheated on her with a police officer.

Melissa is portrayed by actress January Jones.

Season 1 & Season 2 BiographyEdit

Melissa met Phil and Carol after they crashed their pickup truck into her limousine in "Raisin Balls and Wedding Bells". She was in Tucson, one week before Carol, who traveled to Tucson after seeing Phil's signs. Phil harbors a massive crush for her and vies for her affection despite the fact that she dislikes and doesn't trust him.

When Todd arrives in Tucson in "Dunk the Skunk", Carol attempts to set him and Melissa up together. Carol's plan seems to work as Melissa and Todd soon begin a relationship that lasts from "Some Friggin' Fat Dude" to The Tandyman Can. Todd and Melissa break up temporarily when Phil (II) arrives in Tucson, but soon resume their relationship when Melissa learns that Phil was going to bring Todd to the desert to die in "Screw the Moon"

Due to the "bacon incident" in "Crickets", Melissa becomes a bit furious at Todd, which results in a pause in their relationship in "Baby Steps". However, Melissa and Todd officially break up in "No Bull". Todd and Gail attempt to cover up their relationship from the group. However in "Secret Santa" Melissa has a change of heart during the Christmas season, and proposes to Todd. But, before he can answer, Phil (II) falls on the floor in desperate pain. As Melissa and Todd try to find medicine for Phil (II) in "Silent Night", Todd accidentally says "no" to her proposal, deeply upsetting her and causes her to get angry and upset in front of Carol. 

In "Valhalla", Todd apologizes to Gail for covering up their relationship from Melissa. Later that day, Melissa is still upset over Todd's rejection from the proposal and decides to break Christmas ornaments, while also drinking alcohol at the same time. The following day, Todd finds Melissa singing Phil's closure song along with chewing off gems off of Carol's boots. As Todd is there, she invites him to watch TV with him, which he hesitantly accepts. As Todd goes back to Gail, she is disappointed over Phil (II)'s death. She then proceeds to tell Todd to take his pants off, where he reveals he has plans with Melissa, leading to Gail to pour an entire bottle of wine. As Melissa and Todd watch TV together, Melissa tries to kiss Todd, but Todd attempts to move away, but eventually leads him. But when Melissa tells Carol that they are "back together", Carol confronts Todd about this, and kisses him, confirming that she knows about his continuous flings with Melissa and Gail.

In "Fish in the Dish", Todd has finished having sex with Gail, but is currently worn out as he has been having continuous sex with both Gail and Melissa. As soon as he comes out of Gail's bedroom, Melissa wanders towards him and tells him to come to her bedroom to have sex, much to Todd's dismay. As Todd tries to come clean to Gail, Gail thanks Todd for helping her through Phil (II)'s death and admits she had disposed of her Gordon dummy, but Gail still leads Todd to have sex with her again. Todd then tries to explain to Melissa, but they end up making out. At the end of the episode, Todd officially tells Melissa and Gail about what he has done.

In "Skidmark", Gail, Erica, and Melissa decline Todd's proposal for a four-some, leading Todd to apologize about it. The next day, Melissa and Gail talk about recent events, and admit that they do love Todd, leading them to agree to Todd's proposal and try to work things out, much to Todd's luck and happiness. 

When Melissa uses her shotgun to shoot down a drone to protect themselves from any harmful invaders and almost shooting Carol in "30 Years of Science Down the Tubes", she is locked in the stocks. 

Season 3 Biography Edit

Following actual intruders coming their way to the mansion, Melissa is released from the stocks in an attempt to escape. When the three intruders arrive in "General Breast Theme with Cobras" , Melissa kills Darrell in an attempt of protecting themselves, when they refuse to put their guns down.

After her murder of Darrell, Melissa slowly becomes mentally insane as far as acting weird by hiding in trees and even placing landmines on the beach in "You're All Going to Diet". Her insanity is soon witnessed by Todd and Gail. Her insanity does help the group find a fully self-sustained office building in "Five Hoda Kotbs", but in "The Power of Power", her insanity is temporarily stopped after Todd breaks up with Gail, but it worsens even more when she burns all her shirts, resulting in her to be shirtless. She also decides she is "ready" to have a baby with Todd, which freaks him out a bit.

In another attempt to get Todd to have a baby with her, she tries role playing as Andy from The Shawshank Redemption in "The Open-Ended Nature of Unwitnessed Deaths". He tries to tell her that he isn't happy with her mental state, but is forced into role playing with her, but she still doesn't get the message that he does not want to have a baby with her because of her state. He yells at her, but she runs off into a hole, after removing a painting of Rita Hayworth, which was featured in the film. 

Her insanity furthers even more when Todd finds Melissa pretending to raise a baby with a doll in "Mama's Hideaway" He worries for her and she ends up breaking up with him as he does not want a baby at the moment. Todd then attempts one more time to communicate with Melissa, even with another roleplay of characters from The Shawshank Redemption. But even that fails to work as Melissa ends up walking off from him. Later on, Todd interrupts the group to tell them that Melissa has run away and left a note saying "Goodbye."

The group struggles to find Melissa in "Whitney Houston, We Have a Problem", but she ends up coming home by herself at the end of the episode. In "If You're Happy and You Know It", Melissa comes up with no remembrance of the last few days, Erica suggests that they keep her contained in a focus group room until she gains some sanity, but Todd disagrees. When he wakes up the next morning, he finds her missing from her room. While Todd searches for Melissa, he interrupts Lewis and Erica's flight simulation with Lewis angry that he cannot land his aviator plane properly. When he is seen searching outside, Todd tells the two the truth that she's missing and Erica ends up spotting her on the edge of the roof.

Todd begs her to come down and they go on a walk to the focus group room. While Erica and Lewis bring her stuff, Todd confronts Melissa about the situation. Despite her not wanting to be in there, Todd locks the door anyway for her own good as Melissa screams that she can't get out. After being locked in the room, she begins emotionally hurting the group from within in "The Spirit of St. Lewis".

As a last resort to cure her condition, Todd decides to go to Melissa's hometown of Akron, Ohio in "Hair of the Dog". After going there, they discover Melissa doing her former daily routine when waking up in the morning, which includes her taking an unidentified pill. They try to get answers from Melissa about the pill, but her only answer towards the question is "Santa's penis". With the help of Gail, Todd and Gail are able to identify the mysterious pill as clozapine in "Find This Thing We Need To". They give Melissa the pill in "Point Person Knows Best", which results in major side effects including loose stool and major sweating. Melissa continues her dosage of the pill in "Name 20 Picnics... Now!" and eventually returns to her previous normal functioning state as revealed in "The Big Day". In the same episode, Melissa and Todd have a wedding and get married to each other.

Notes/TriviaEdit

  • The commentary for "The Elephant in the Room" noted that the original middle name for Melissa was going to be "Eve". Her middle name has yet to be seen or mentioned in the show.
  • The official last name of Melissa is spelled "Chartres", as stated by executive producer, Andy Bobrow, in a tweet and in "The Boo". 

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